Exhausted

I started my new rotation this morning, at the main campus... It was a lot of new things for me. New home, new hospital, new specialty, new EDC system, new everything... At the end of the day, I haven't seen any patient and I was drained... Brain dead, really.

But then, I came home, had dinner (well, the egg sandwich I had prepared for lunch) with my two fantastic landlords/roommate, and I felt a little better. I am very happy to report that I also took a 3 km fast-walk, so my family doctor is going to be satisfied (I know, I should do it for me, but I really see no point in doing any physical activity, so she is my motivation...)

And, hopefully, tomorrow is going to be a little easier, the day after a little bit more and by the end of next week, I'll be more confortable. There is light at the end of the tunnel (like there always is, let not forget it!)

Blues

Tonight, I feel blue... In less than 48 hours, I have to leave my home for a month of respirology at the main campus. I really enjoyed this month in psychiatry, which was kind of a surprise. The first week has been like an adjustment disorder, because the patients are very different. In the end, I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would... To be clear, not that I would do that of my whole life, because it is very draining emotionally. Since these patients represent at least 20% of family practice, I believe I can deal with that...

One of the big thing about leaving is I don't want to leave the only member of my family that is still here, my de-motivator in chief...

Oh, he's not going to be in a bad situation. He is going to live for a month with a very good friend of mine who loves cat. He will be spoiled as much as he deserves. But still, he is the only family I had in the last month, and leaving him behind is very difficult.

I begin to feel my husband and Princess's absence. I miss them as much as it is possible. I've never been separated from them for that long before and it is taking a toll on my mood. At this point, I don't think they will be back home before mid-June. Even though I really like this rotation, it seems never-ending, not because I don't have the motivation, but because I miss them too much.

On top of it, I need to prepare the house and the cottage for this month absence. It's nothing major, but when you feel depressed, everything look like a big mountain... (ok, you see, I have a very small tendency to exaggerate things... I don't feel that bad, just a little less smily than usual... I suppose this is my histrionic side :-) )

This weekend, I'll see my best friends in Montreal, I'll eat kabab (Yesssss!) and I'm going to the wedding of a very good friend, wearing a brand new dress. Not so bad after all!

Mother's day

Last February, I spent my birthday (a Sunday) in the hospital working. It was my decision, I thought that I should experience every part of being a family physician, and this includes hospitalization.

Today, I spent Mother's day doing psychiatric emergency, until 19:15... I haven't choosen to be on call today, and really, I didn't even realized it was Mother's day until this Friday. Being the only mom in my cohort, I could have ask anyone to change call schedule with me... I didn't. Really, what is the point of being home with nothing to do when your family is over 5000 km away? (Well, you understand that nothing to do is not exactly true... There is always some studying to do - in psychiatry, it means memorizing diagnostic criteria). I am very satisfied of my day because I learn a great deal, questioned a few patients and can you see what was the weather outside today? That white sh*** (yes, when it falls in May, it is no longer snow!) has fallen upon us this afternoon... May I remind you, we are May 8th! So better to be inside with something to do, instead of thinking of this terrible weather!