Struggle

In my program, it seems the second year is the toughest. Well, not that I would want to assume that clerkship is a piece of cake, I understand it is also very challenging. But, I believe that during clerkship, you feel more connected to your goal, so it is easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What are the challenges of second year? The fact that you feel deconnected of your goal is a big part of it. You've been a Med Student for a year, you are used to the idea of it. You feel you are going to be sitting on school bench forever and that you are a jar that is being filled with more and more and more, until you can’t take more. (Well, I do feel like that). The jar might not be the right metaphor, let say a balloon that you fill until it is at the point of breaking... You see the idea.

Within the second year, this semester is the worst... Let's face it, the weather is not helping (particularly this year, the coldest one in more than 50 years). Most student don’t particularly enjoy nephrology, hematology and infectious disease. It happens to be my favorite subjects, I was waiting for this semester since I started, so my motivation is there. But somewhere in the beginning of February, I lost my focus... I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t put as much effort I used to and that I should. Not that I am in a uncomfortable situation. I did all my tutorials as I have to, but not as completely as I did previously. And this is a slippery slope. Once you start doing other things (including home improvement), you don’t have as much motivation to go back to your studies.

I am not sure what happened last weekend, but I took the bull by the horns and I re-started doing what I was doing before... and it felt very good. I am proud of myself, I went through this patch unharmed. And with the reading week coming next, I feel I am in a nice place to be ready for my exams at the end of March. And my next unit is Infectious Disease, I can't wait!

I will survive this year!